watch for the happiness

just finished watching this chinese series called 'watch for the happiness' last night. the story is meaningful and quite moving at times...like i mean to the point that it actually made me cry...

it's about an 80 yr old grandma who, after her husband dies, suffers from dementia..i'm not exactly sure of the english word for the disorder since it was in mandarin...anyways, she had a very unfortunate and sad childhood and adulthood and she gets these sudden bouts of reverting back to her past life where they were so poor she had to sell off one of daughters just to get money for some food, when she is brought to the past she forgets what everything around her really is and who people really are, suffering in her miserable memories that have become her world...she has 2 sons and a daughter but they each already have problems in their own lives that they need to solve...let alone trying to care for her...

ok...i won't say too much... hehe just in case one day you ever happen to watch it i dun wanna spoil it for you

'watch for the happiness' is actually made from a novel...which hopefully one day i may come across and get to read, although i might have a bit of trouble since it is written in chinese. but i have to say this story is very inspiring, with many meaningful lessons to teach and even though it's quite sad at times it is still full of happiness, love and hope

bad luck or good luck?

...or maybe it doesn't have anything to do with luck at all. i mean there probably isn't such thing as 'luck' but that's just merely a word used to explain the unexplainable coincidences of good things...

last saturday, as in, the saturday that just passed, i had gone to the library in search of those book thingys that you need to read before you take the test for getting your L's. hehe...i didn't even know what the book is called... but eventually after searching the library catalogue a dozen times i managed to find the book. and while i was on my way i went past the 'bestsellers' rack which just so happened to have lian hearn's "the harsh cry of the heron" which i really want to read. but the thing is, i didn't even have my library card, well actually...i don't have one, i usually just use my mum's but my mum was at chinese school with my bro...so i thought well maybe i could get a library card, i mean, it should be that hard, right?

so i got to the "sign up for a library card" counter and had a look at the form and right at the bottom of the page it had a lil section for parents/guardians to sign for ppl under 18...well duh i'm not 18 yet....doh! ...in the end i replaced the books and left... very much disappointed...

today, i decided to go to the library again, making sure i had mum's library card (i really should get one for myself sometime) ...yet to my disappointment (again!!) ...both of the books had gone!! arghh!!! ...but right where i had found lian hearn's book last time, was a different book --> empress orchid ...ok after reading the blurb (which wasn't really much help because most of it was flowery adjectives describing the book in general) ... i decided to borrow the book anyway...

i've just finished reading the first few pages and the book doesn't seem too bad...

so..um is that good luck or bad luck ?

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does thinking too much kill one? or is it too less? anger kills. frustration too. but sadness? that drowns. happiness...well i guess one can never have too much of that, n'est-ce pas? :) :) :)

everything requires balance, and balance requires everything.

what can i say??

sometimes there's just so much that you want to let out but when you come to actually letting it out there seems like nothing's left. nil. zilch. rien.

so here i am thinking, contemplating... maybe i'll just blog for the sake of practicising my french and chinese, french one day, chinese the next, then french again...hehe that sounds so ordered. too ordered. sometimes things are more interesting when you're not anticipating, when it comes out of the blue ...randomness.

...now i'm talking in bits, like pieces of a puzzle that don't exactly fit together, like a book missing pages here and there, like a pen with blotchy ink. fluency, fluidity...that's what i like.