Saturday, August 30, 2008

s l o w

i'm such a slowpoke. i have hardly accomplished anything today and i'm sure there's gotta be some better way to study for anatomy than what i'm doing right now. there's nearly only half of the weekend left and i really doubt i'm gonna make much progress tomorrow despite my supposed motivation. and this isn't the only thing i'm slow at...

i feel that i'm kinda slow at growing and coming into terms with things, a slow-adjuster. i don't mean growing as in growing tall (that kinda stopped quite a while ago). growing up seems too big a task for me, i don't like facing the harsh reality of the real world out there... sometimes i feel like i'm living in my own little sphere, unable to blend into the normalities others take for granted. an anomaly. a turtle hidden inside its shell, afraid to get hurt, afraid to be scarred again.

i should seriously get back to studying or at least i should first of all figure out how i'm gonna organise those anatomy terms and principles.

start afresh, from square one, the long way, because it might be worth it in the end...

Thursday, August 21, 2008

(lost & found)

this is perhaps the first week since the beginning of the semester that i have finally gotten a start on studying. i wonder why i didn't start earlier, because i sure regret it now...and whatever happened to my 'stop procrastinating' thing? i guess i'm the only to blame.

indeed, recently, out of nowhere, i've found myself some motivation, by some serendipitous luck i assume. maybe that was what went missing for while. like a paperclip missing beneath the cluttered mass on an untidy desk; lost among the crowd of paper, books and pens. or maybe its merely an unasked for exchange, for something forever lost. a compensation? i'd like to think better of it.

lost and found. as intrinsic a part of life as the law of gravity is to earth.