post christmas post

christmas day outing : 2007
we drove for like 2 hours to hanging rocks, only to discover that the it was not open on christmas day! very dodgy. so then we went to some random deserted park nearby for lunch instead, because we were all starving by then. but, at the picnic grounds there were all these little flying thingys, which was really gross. so then we ended up eating bread inside the car. yes, very very dodgy. so we drove all the way back to melbourne and went to albert park lake to finish off our lunch, then things weren't too bad after all. after that we went to st. kilda beach which was quite nice, but i was all prepared for hiking at hanging rocks and so i didn't have any thongs or anything... we flew a kite there, that was fun, it was good that it was pretty windy so we could get the kite pretty high :) however, the kite was one of those really dodgy plastic ones so it kinda broke after a while...then we couldn't fly it anymore :( ...but we dipped our feet in the water and had running races on the sand so that was fun =P

boxing day shopping : so many people!!!
i think it was the first time i've been boxing day shopping and it was soooo crowded and the fitting room lines were long as. but we all ended up scooping some nice bargains and i finally bought some comfy and nice sandals so i was really happy ^^

oh dear! i just realised that we forgot to take photos on christmas !! ....oh well..next time i'll definitely remember...

docklands

this was the first time that i've been to docklands, looks quite nice there...however, it was kinda empty cos there weren't much people. had lots of fun anyways =P

course prefs. not so easy

i am indecisive fullstop

or perhaps this was what i should have been thinking of doing all along. this whole year i've been telling everyone, including myself, that i want to do pharm. sci/ engineering at monash... but to think about it now that course has heaps of chem in it and not as much bio, and i did better in bio in my vce... the career possibilities are very broad though, but at the moment i still only have a vague idea. so like three days before course prefs. are due i suddenly decide, hey i'm gonna do dental science now...gee sounds really random ..but then the more i think about dentistry, the less i think its boring, in fact it has a lot to do with bio and in the end its not really a job where you do the same thing everyday..cos different people would have different teeth problems..and well this sounds really silly but teeth are pretty important...apparently they're the easiest part of you to decay while you're alive - okay that sounds really weird - but you need them everyday, we all eat food don't we? ...

nevertheless, i'm not even sure if i can get into the course cos part of the selection process is umat and performance in pre reqs which i didn't do that great in methods and chem so yeah... now i think if i don't get in i might feel a bit disappointed ... *sigh* ...and i have to wait till mid january to know so that's like another 3 weeks!

but then again, i wouldn't really mind that much doing engineering/pharm. sci cos its sciencey and i quite enjoy science...oh well! i can't do anything about that now, so i'll just give dental science a try and if not i'll just do engineering/ pharm sci...i think this is probably the latest time that i've ever blogged at...but i feel much better after pouring out all my thoughts =)

:blank:

first time that i've blogged since exams finished and everything. now that yr 12 is officially and entirely over i feel more than anything - relief. apparently uni isn't as stressful..or so some say. but uni? ...uni? eugh...lol i don't think i'm ready for it yet..i don't want to grow up!! it's another step into the real world and i'm scared. i admit it, i'm a scaredy cat..i'm like scared about everything from the dark, to ghost movies...lol even talking to ppl sometimes. i'm not very brave. but i wish i was. and i wish i didn't have to grow up ...haha i wanna be like peter pan and never grow up lol i don't even really know the story...

is there a way to increase my EQ? because if there is i wanna know, cos i think my EQ is very low. is there some way to improve social skills ? lol i need that too. sometimes i really wish i had a different personality, someone more talkative, less shy, more courageous...i wish i knew what to say at the right time...

this is really random but i just wanted to say that i finally baked choc chip cookies! (like 2 weeks ago) lol that had been on my to do list since the start of the year...and the cookies didn't turn out too bad i guess, a bit too much butter though but otherwise i'm happy ^^

look o.O -->
(okay, the tips of some of the choc chips are a tad bit burnt -.- ...but it tastes ok anyway! ......i hope! )

i think i really need to learn more cooking on the hols or i'd be eating 2 minute noodles everyday when i grow up [which unlike most ppl, i dun really like eating] i guess i just have to accept the fact that i do actually have to grow up ... maybe one day... but not now

now i feel like being lazy, not studying for my l's, not cleaning up my room, not doing anything at all and just typing random stupid incomprehensible stuff (i.e. this!)

lol i can't believe i've written so much, i can talk a lot when i want to i guess...haha i seem to say 'i guess' a lot...i guess (there it is again!)it's cos i'm not so sure about anything, because everything seems kinda flimsy, anything can change, and nothing really stays the same...

2 down 5 more to go

yay! finally both my orals are over and done with, no more detailed studies and memorising introductions...hooray! hmm...except now five writtens...english in 4 days, actually 3 and a half. omg. but everything will be over soon, then i can enjoy the holidays!! >.<

: see

It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.
- Henry David Thoreau

see the hope
see the dream
see the happiness that lies within but shines outwards


...there is no such thing as impossibility,
to have the thought, the belief, is possibility in itself...

i don't know

You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life. ~ Albert Camus

i'm too lazy to search, too tired to look, does that count too?

time

can't believe i haven't been blogging for more than two whole months! feels a bit weird to write on a blog right now.

anyhows, what can i say? there so many things that have happened, that are going to happen, that are happening, i simply cannot put it into words. year 12 seems to go by faster than any other year of my life. there's no pause button to year 12, no way of slowing things down so its easier to swallow, and now with term 3 coming to an end (so soon?!) sacs are piling on top of each other...and me? i'm drowning amongst the sea of sacs, orals and practice exams...eek and i can't really swim either...ok maybe i'm exaggerating just a tad bit...

time does not wait.

winter holidays : week one

it's been freezing the past couple of days, and raining too.

guess what? i made jelly on monday with my cousin, nat. yay! it was the first time i ever made aeroplane jelly (usually it's my mum who makes it). talking about food, today i was researching stuff for my unit 4 folio and i found all these cool pics of cakes...mmm

here's a pretty one (courtesy of vanillepatisserie.com):



yum ... caramel and chocolate mousse cakes =P

hope everyone's enjoying the hols :)

did you know?

> smiling releases endorphins which make us feel better
> a person who studies laughter is called a 'gelotologist'
> laughing can stimulate heart activity thereby producing a better oxidation
> people are born with the ability to smile, it is not a copied expression

here is a quote i like about smiles:

"It costs nothing, but creates much. It enriches those who receive, without impoverishing those who give. It happens in a flash and the memory of it sometimes lasts forever."
~ dale carnegie

the equation

is life supposed to be fair? or is it up to us to make it fair?

i wish i knew.

it seems that people are so encased in layer within layer of circumstances, personalities and prejudices that objectivity becomes lost, is fairness even a word that exists there?

i wish i could change a lot of things.

perhaps equations can only be restricted to maths and science, because those subjects seem to dwell on a preciseness that is seemingly impossible in reality.

life is a changing constant. altered by time, by people, by thoughts.

qu'est-ce que je dois faire?

right now i feel like wasting my time, i know i should be doing a whole lot of other more important things - like studying, for example - but something pulls me back, telling me to plonk it all aside.

maybe i need this time to rethink, replan ... reflect? ok, so what exactly have i done this long week-end? the answer seems to knock me mercilessly on the forehead, i don't think i've actually done much, very nice...

but now shouldn't be a time to dive back into what i should or shouldn't have done...instead, what i will do, what i will accomplish:

- study for french sac (thursday)
- study for chem sac (friday)
- catch up with my viscomm folio
- start studying for chem mid-years
- do chinese homework (sunday)

et voila, my to-do list for the week, which i shall start to work on ...tomorrow

the nothing of everything : the everything of nothing

sometimes life drifts by, an endless trickling of time... and how much of that time is passed, staring into nothingness, falling into reveries, waiting for something that will never happen? sift the day for moments of productivity, and there isn't much left in the end. all that wasted time, all those possibilities...what a shame, quel dommage!

but then again, (i am contradicting myself...)if there weren't those unnecessary bits of time in between - those occasional daydreams, those random thoughts, those moments of waiting, wishing, hoping - everything would be compressed. too much to take, it's like trying to close your fist around a basketball, like playing a 4 minute music track in 5 seconds.

so here i am, questions unanswered, mind befuddled by the world...trying to make something out of nothing, attempting to extract substance out of emptiness.

moving with time, being dragged along by time - like sitting in a little boat, on a river, pushed along by the current, the direction of the wind...simply staring at the sights to see, the bridges approaching, the grassy hills, the autumn maple trees, the snow covered mountains - occasionally picking up the camera, taking snippets of images that will later become memories...

can't think

hehe... just realised that mostly what i blog is merely a ramble.. gah.. or maybe i knew all along subconciously..ok that word just made me think of a dozen random stuff too complex for my brain to handle right now.

so what exactly's supposed to go on these blogs, eh? i guess probably like a diary entry kinda thing, recounting, retelling, rethinking. taking a new perspective on things? ok then. ah-hem, so here it goes, my um... 'diary entry':

woke up at half past seven this morning...which technically equates to half past six since it's that daylight saving thingy today (yay got to sleep for an extra hour). so i got up early, and then mum made me bake garlic bread for brekky in the oven and said that i should learn to do things independently - 'i need to learn how to cook! - eventually i managed to preheat the oven and shove in the bread at the right time..in the end it turned out quite nice actually :)

hehe then i watch some kids tv with my lil bro...awww it's so cute..brings back memories of playschool and sesame street ( elmo and zoe rock!) ... haha um mental blank can't remember what show it was..just that it was cute >.<

so then packed my bag and left to catch the bus, which was coming at 8:31 to be exact, well it was supposed to come at that time, but buses aren't exactly the most trustworthy and punctual things so it came a lil late. the bus driver was nice and smiled. anyways the thing i hate bout buses on sundays is that there's like one every hour and chinese school starts at nine thirty so that meant i was like 45 mins early. hmmph..so i sat outside waiting patiently and listening to music and then a bunch of guys who happened to be occupying the bench next to the one i was sitting at starting to make a racket and were laughing about i don't know what but just being really noisy...so then i had to turn up my music ...gah..stupid ppl...

...enough writing lol i think i've vented enough anger today...dinner time soon, but i'm not very hungry..i think i ate too much for lunch and a ate heaps of watermelon a while after that too!

embrace life, enjoy food ^^

. pause .

sometimes we seem so rushed, so busy, so full of things to do, there's no time to do anything else besides hurrying along to the incessant beat of the day, the week, the month...the unrelenting flow of time.

too crowded and too much. yet time still tics away, uncatchable, unpredictable. always coming and going, but never returning.

too loud and too crammed. yet the melody of time continues playing, turning, changing. to relive the past is to lie.

does time ever stop? can it? will it?

silence,

is quintessential, even music has bars of rest and volume can be muted.

forget everything for a moment. sit down. close eyes.

. p a u s e .

b u b b l e

the bubble g r o w s
more air fills it
m o r e and m o r e

its surface shiny
clear
stretched out
fragile

m o r e and m o r e

too much pressure

too much to bear

irrevocable

and all of a sudden
pop
vanished without out a trace
forgotten

poor bubble.

?

questions

is there always an answer?

....was that a rhetorical question?? is it possible to post a blog purely made up of a bunch of questions? to question everything but answer nothing? to ask but not reply?

can everything be questioned? and even if there is an answer, will it suffice? or is the human heart insatiable, never able to find satisfaction? when we know the answer, do things become clearer, or more blurred?

and is it that important to know?

because isn't it better not knowing sometimes?

what would you choose? would you dare?

complexity :

everything is intertwined
interconnected
an infusion

lucid yet opaque

contradictions

is there a way out?

is it possible to distinguish
to choose
to forget
to remember
to wish
to hope
?

a sunrise
sunset
where lilac becomes blue
pink becomes orange
a musky haze

life can be blurry

the meaning of life

well first of all is there a meaning? one that we can touch or see, or even feel? or perhaps we walk through life searching for this meaning? and would, or more so, could it be possible to find it?

many people seem to say that life is synonymous to a road. it depends on the direction chosen, the path taken, and also the path not taken.

but not everything is the consequence of what is chosen. do we get to decide what we are born like? what family we have? whether a drought or flood will come the next day? some people probably don't get to choose much of their life at all, like a child living in africa, can they choose not to walk all those miles just for a bucket of water? can they choose to go to school for an education? ...but i guess the one thing that is chosen is to go on living, and hope for the best.

so the meaning of life isn't some two mile long scroll with billions of words on it, but perhaps it's those little precious moments that we seem to catch every now and then, a smile, a tear of happiness... finding joy in the most unlikeliest of places.

"life is either a daring adventure or nothing. to keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable" ~helen keller

跟暑假说一声再见

明天就要开学了, 真的不舍得这个又轻松又好玩儿的暑假! 两个月好像过得特别快, 时间一晃眼就过去了, 我连一分一秒都抓不住.

希望今年可以更加努力学习!! 还有, 希望我会想好明年想念什么因为现在还是想不通.

好吧, 暑假, 再见!

梦>dream

to dream
is to reach for the sky
and be able to grasp it
to feel the freedom
to see no boundaries

to dream
is to allow
imagination become reality
hopes to become truths
the impossible to become achievable

to dream
is to be enchanted
to be lost
in a magical universe
and never want to find the way back

only dreamers can teach us to soar - Anne Marie Pierce

destiny

is there such thing?

do we all have already laid out paths that will inevitably become our future? could this be the explanation for mere coincidences? and who are we to thank or blame for the seemingly destined happenings that occur? ...that is if destiny exists...

or, could destiny just be a word to label something intangible that would otherwise be an unfathomable mystery?

there are more questions than there are answers, yet it's these questions that make life all the more to live for.

{relativity...or not}

how can emotions be measured? perhaps they can't because different people have different expectations, different hearts. we do not all feel the same things and to understand fully somebody else's feelings is not an easy thing. how can one describe?

happiness? you might say, very happy or kind of happy or not really happy, but what is very,kind of and not really? well i guess you could say very happy is more than just happy, and so on and so forth. what one person may call happy,what another person may not even know how to feel... language cannot utterly describe something that may seem so simple. that's similar to asking someone 'what does a strawberry taste like?' simple question, difficult answer. sweet? sour? fragrant? but that would also describe a million other things...

emotions and feelings have a complexity beyond comprehension.

everything seems relative to one another, an endless row of bottles of coloured sand, each differing slightly from the next, each having slight variations in shades and patterns, each without the ability to replace another.

笑一笑 smile a smile

is seeing believing? must we see something to know the truth? perhaps, perhaps not...
because what we may see on the surface isn't actually what's on the inside...everything has more than one side, more than one perspective, it could be sunset or sunrise, half full or half empty..

...and things change, people change, but what remains the same?

do personalities change? if you change the original, then it isn't what it was before anymore.

hehe...i could babble and ramble on forever, but that's enough for now, so for the moment ...smile a smile ... 笑一笑吧!

" the sun does not shine for a few trees and flowers, but for the wide world's joy " ~ Henry W. Beecher