memory and forgetfulness

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and the tired string snaps
only half a kite
wandering aimlessly in the sky

it's funny how memory seems to play tricks all the time; concealing what you want to find, and digging out what you want faded.

if only magic existed. and there were a spell for forgetfulness. then i could wave my wand and make it all vanish. but is ignorance bliss?

re.collect re.fresh re.start

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i thought it was time to sit down in peace and write a decent heartfelt post. and how timely, new year's eve.

two thousand and eight. 2 0 0 8 ? the numbers seem surprisingly mismatched yet so familiar to me. it has been a long and short year. a year of change, as with all other years. 366 days have gone by just like that. i feel that i've wasted most of it, that i should have used time more wisely, more intelligently. so much has changed, so much has happened that i cannot recall when it began. it's been one challenging year, mentally & emotionally gruelling? i don't know if that's the correct adjective...

i have learnt a lot this year, and there is so much, so much more that there is to learn. 2008, a year of realisation, discovery and unexpected obstacles. and uni. first year has been interesting, something that needs adjusting to; new faces, new environment, new things to learn. and now, summer hols, one month through and two more to drift through. and work, work has been relatively good, i like the feeling of doing something productive.

to put down all my thoughts now would be impossible, because too many things are running through my mind. and my eyes keep betraying me, i just want to close them and go to sleep. but i feel compelled to continue typing...

i hope that next year will bring some sort of new beginning, like how the old saying goes, to turn a new leaf. there are so many things i am hoping for, i feel a bit greedy. and i seem to always make wishes that are impossible to grant...

no matter what, 2009, i will welcome you with open arms and a smile from the heart :]

a new year, a fresh start.

nobody knows

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treasured deep behind an icy mist
in a distant world of its own
far away from all known

a wilderness white where light reflects
locked within invisible bars
still they lie, the unhealing scars

fury ruptures and twists with pain
tears well and balloon
yet silence plays the only tune

numbing coldness, frozen stone
when will it melt and wash away?
perhaps the ice will forever stay

unseen, undiscovered, unmapped
a hidden land where nobody goes
a secret nobody knows


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a little day from my little world

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today has been more unproductive than i thought it would have been. but somehow i still managed to scrape through some chem revision and had extra motivation to go for a 30 minute walk ... so i'm satisfied. lately i've had a slight obsession with doing those quiz thingys on blogthings.com ... some of its quite true, i liked the 'what does your handwriting one say about you?' one, i'd say 90% accurate...

and i decided to read the newspaper today, like actually read entire articles, usually i just skim and recycle it. two articles particularly caught my attention - one was about happiness and the other was about tears... what a coincidence they happen to appear in the paper on the same day! the happiness one was about the relationship between the activities that people do and how happy they were. apparently some research found that unhappy people tend to watch tv more... weird huh? but its interesting how they thought of drawing a correlation between happiness and activities... i think in the end it always depends on the person of course, on personality.

anyhows, moving on, the other article was about how crying is beneficial being that emotional tears released can actually expel chemicals related with stress. so literally when you cry, you are letting out the stress. and crying is a unique human trait...i always thought that other animals could too...hmm... i think that illusion must be from watching too much cartoon and kids movies... >.<

ramble ramble ramble .....

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yeah, i know, i should be studying since the anatomy exam is almost 3 hours away but meh...relaxation is just as good a preparation for exams right? haha or am i just making up an excuse to be lazy?

anyhows i think i've had enough of neck muscles and their attachments ( and valves of the heart, larynx and phonation, nerves and blood supplies...and the list just goes on...and on....and on....) for the week. i'm actually glad to have 3 exams this week because then they'll be over and done with and i can get another step closer to the summer hols!!

studying at home gets rather boring after a while, if i wasn't at all interested in this semester's content i probably would've dozed off a couple of dozen times this swotvac...so i'm glad that at least some bits of anatomy are interesting :)

oh, and i am so very annoyed at my next door neighbours who have decided to plant a gigantic swimming pool in their backyard. haven't they realised there's a drought at the moment?? and the local pool is only a 10 minute drive away ... *sigh* rich people who don't have more creative and useful ways to spend their money... and what bugs me at the moment is that they're laying down the tiles and rebuilding the fence right now, and my room is on the side that's next to them, which means all the unbearable noise from the sawing and drilling and etc only needs to travel a very short distance to reach my room and drive me insane!!! arghhhh.... stupid neighbours....

lol enough venting and rambling for now... even if i don't study, i do at least need to munch on some lunch before i head to uni... yay! hehe.... food makes me happy :P

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the open door

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When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
\\ Helen Keller.

i think i have been staring at that closed door for much too long, to the point i cannot remember when it started. all that time spent going round and round in fruitless circles, what was i thinking? but that is the past, what's gone is gone, what's done is done, what has happened has happened...we cannot change the past, but we can change the future. the door has opened, and i am glad i can finally see it.

no one said that life was gonna be easy; things just happen, even if we're minding our own business living our own happy little lives, they still happen. but that is not to say that we can't do anything about it.

no, indeed you can't just erase what has happened and make it disappear. life is not like a pencil drawing that can be easily erased - it is a canvas painting. a canvas with the width of one's mind and the depth of one's imagination. someone may paint an unsightly stroke on it, and one could cover it up, or, one could turn the stroke into a tree, a bird or even the waves of the ocean.

there are difficult things, difficult people... difficult circumstances. rather than letting it bury me down, i am beginning to learn to see the opportunity in the difficulty. it takes time - and effort, and courage...and a whole bunch of other things - to learn, but i am willing to put in everything i've got.

the sun is out today. there may be grey clouds speckled amidst the sky, but the sun still radiates its light, and generously pours out its warmth (^_______^)

spring cleaning

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it is often said that laughter is the best medicine, but i'm sure that walking must come a close second to that.

i figured it was time to chill and empty out my brain today - at least emptying out the unnecessary trash stored in my mind that was taking over all the good stuff. yes, i decided it was time to go for a walk, a nice brisk, almost power-walking-speed stroll in my neighbourhood. and it kinda worked.

the sky was nice to me and didn't rain. half an hour was just right for enjoying the spring scenery (i.e. people's prettiful gardens with blooming flowers ^^). amongst the fresh greeness of the trees and grass, i could almost forget everything and it was just plain me, and my music, and nature.

by the time i got home i didn't feel tired, but rather, refreshed and perhaps even energised. my mind had cleared a bit and felt lighter than before. some of the mess was dumped, some was recycled into better thoughts, and hope, inspiration and motivation had a good dusting so now they're sparkling in the light and visible again.

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