hope

...

s l o w

i'm such a slowpoke. i have hardly accomplished anything today and i'm sure there's gotta be some better way to study for anatomy than what i'm doing right now. there's nearly only half of the weekend left and i really doubt i'm gonna make much progress tomorrow despite my supposed motivation. and this isn't the only thing i'm slow at...

i feel that i'm kinda slow at growing and coming into terms with things, a slow-adjuster. i don't mean growing as in growing tall (that kinda stopped quite a while ago). growing up seems too big a task for me, i don't like facing the harsh reality of the real world out there... sometimes i feel like i'm living in my own little sphere, unable to blend into the normalities others take for granted. an anomaly. a turtle hidden inside its shell, afraid to get hurt, afraid to be scarred again.

i should seriously get back to studying or at least i should first of all figure out how i'm gonna organise those anatomy terms and principles.

start afresh, from square one, the long way, because it might be worth it in the end...

(lost & found)

this is perhaps the first week since the beginning of the semester that i have finally gotten a start on studying. i wonder why i didn't start earlier, because i sure regret it now...and whatever happened to my 'stop procrastinating' thing? i guess i'm the only to blame.

indeed, recently, out of nowhere, i've found myself some motivation, by some serendipitous luck i assume. maybe that was what went missing for while. like a paperclip missing beneath the cluttered mass on an untidy desk; lost among the crowd of paper, books and pens. or maybe its merely an unasked for exchange, for something forever lost. a compensation? i'd like to think better of it.

lost and found. as intrinsic a part of life as the law of gravity is to earth.

.... on a happier note ^____^

for some bizarre reason i feel particularly optimistic, happy and energised today, as if a burden has been lifted off my shoulders and i feel somewhat lighter (...lol, only figuratively (i still need to work on the exercising.. =="))

this year has had its unexpected ups and depressingling low downs; 2008 - a turbulent year to say the least. lots of things happen and not just in a linear fashion, but rather interweave ...like different coloured almost-torn threads tangled together, each thread making the mass all the more confusing than it already is....

but that's what life is like, colourful.

yet, at the same time it's fragile. sometimes letting go is better than holding on tight. taking each step as an fulfilling accomplishment rather than merely heading blindly towards a goal that's a mile away. giving yet asking for nothing in return. putting up a smile in the face of adversity, seeing the glow when the darkness has absorbed the light.

cherishing every moment, living without regrets.

+ one month post

it has been exactly one month since i last posted a blog entry. lots of things can happen in a month, good things, bad things, things that don't mean much, things that mean a lot, happy things, funny things, sad things, annoying things...i've just written a whole lot of 废话 but i can't be bothered backspacing it cos i'm not in such a great mood today.

i should be studying IBS now, i haven't reviewed the immune system yet and i haven't reviewed a bunch of other stuff either. sometimes when i'm in a bad mood i eat lots of food lol... bingeing on junk food, very unhealthy...so lately i've been switching to healthier alternatives (don't know how long its gonna last though...) i ate some dried apricots and a seedless mandarin just a while ago. last night i was helping my bro with reading and it was a book about what a fruit is, it said that fruits come from a plant, grow from the flower and have seeds. so a tomato is a fruit, a squash is a fruit and pumpkins are fruit...which i found kinda interesting, cos i used to think that pumpkin soup was a vegetable soup, lol but its a actually a fruit soup ...

i remember we had a class debate in yr 8 once, about whether summer or winter was better, i was on the winter side, but now i'm not so sure whether i do like winter better... right now my hands and feet and are like unmeltable ice, and i'm wearing gloves and socks already... the doctor once said that my blood circulation wasn't very good, which was why i used have headaches and stuff, and she told me to exercise to improve blood flow or something like that, i wonder how it works... is it increasing the capillary diameter, or like causing cardiac muscle hypertrophy so it pumps blood better...neither sound right...now how did i get onto this topic? lol it seems like a sign that i should be getting back to studying IBS....

me + my thoughts ---->

for some reason i feel like i've accomplished a lot this week. i finally went to do my interview with a dentist, finished my notes for genetics and also notes for those i didn't do last week, got the flu vaccine this morning, am over half way through the first draft of my essay... :] yay!!! hehe...

it's so easy to procrastinate and think 'oh, i'll do that later, it's not that important anyway, i've got plenty of time...' then things pile up like crazy and the end of the story, needless to say, is not exactly a pleasant one. so, i've decided to stop procrastinating and get things done straight away...haha dunno how long this is gonna last though...but at least i've tried >.< and i think making the effort is perhaps the second most important ... after persistence...ok so i guess i'll have to be persistent too....seems like i've made things more complicated than they were *sigh*

sometimes i think, wouldn't it be so good if everything in the world was simple, if everyone in the world had simple minds, and no one was scheming evil plans, no one telling lies, no one making other people sad, what a happy world that would be... human beings are as intelligent a creature as they are stupid, like what einstein said ' only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and i'm not so sure about the former'

my stupid complaints

*sigh* today has been a bit of a dodgy day, and here's why:

1. after our lectures today the weather was really warm, well warm for autumn anyway, the sun was out and all, then the trams at swanston st weren't working so we walked all the way from there to elizabeth st to get the tram. ok, maybe it wasn't that far but it made me feel even hotter by the time i got to the tram stop. the thing is, i was wearing a jumper (stupid me) and i couldn't really take that off...so that really bugged me...

2. i went to get my formal pants shortened at this clothes shop place and the person wasn't there so i have to wait till tomorrow to get it, which by then the infection control prac would be over and i need to wear "professional attire" for that. yes, very dodgy because pretty much all of my clothes don't fall under that category. so i went rummaging through my wardrobe for something suitable to wear, which i have finally found so i'm kinda glad about that. however, i felt kinda outta place and weird when i was trying on that stuff so i'm not quite sure how on earth i'm gonna survive wearing that for the whole entire day tomorrow...

3. i decided to get a start on my dent assignment, which i had already tried but wasn't successful since the dentist i interviewed didn't really have any thoughts about dentistry :S ...anyways, so i decided to call wend's dentist to see if i could make an appointment to interview her....but then i got rejected by the receptionist cos she said the dentist was too busy and etc hence, now i'm starting to stress out about finding a dentist to interview... *sniff*

4. not sure exactly why, but i have a headache now... so i don't feel that great either :'(

anyhows, after letting out all my complaints for the day i feel really stupid for feeling grumpy and down cos they are such miniscule things to feel bad about...hehe so now i'm gonna enjoy what's left of the day :] !!!!

p.s. here's a pic from my phone of a double rainbow i saw on last thursday after it rained :)